LilleBaby Love Letters // Love

Oh my sweet boy, this past year has been so full. Full of love and life and journeys into the amazing world of parenthood. 
I can’t believe it has been a whole year. Over 365 days of Harrison. My heart swells when I think of the first time I laid eyes on you as I brought you and your warm, vernix covered skin to my chest. That overwhelming sense of relief and joy and elation and pride. The tunnel vision: you were the only thing I remember for those first several hours.
Thinking back to those first days and weeks and months, remembering how you never left my side, constantly nursing and snuggling.  I remember how overwhelmed I was some days, thinking I couldn’t do this, that I was doing it all wrong, I was creating bad habits, I was touched out, I was exhausted and wasn’t sure I was cut out for motherhood. I would look at you, sleeping on me, and catch you smiling up at me, and I’d forget all the self doubt. 
I remember the first time you reached out to me, my entire being exploded with joy and righteousness. You didn’t want dad, or Grammy or Pop Pop. You wanted me. You were expressing your love for me outwardly for the first time, and I was soaking it all in.
I love creating memories with you and your dad and our family. I love cuddling with you and dad and 500 quilts, you popping up every so often to roar or giggle or show us how you can stand on your own now. I love dancing in the kitchen with you swaying along while making breakfast on Sundays, and your big slobbery kisses. 
I love the closeness I feel when you’re on my chest in the LILLEbaby, the way I can feel your heart beat, and your breathing slow as you drift off to sleep. The way that baby wearing calms you immediately.
I love our breastfeeding journey, knowing I’m nourishing not only your body, but also your soul. The way you nuzzle into me, relaxing as your belly fills, and the way you look up at me and put your hand on my cheek every so often. 
I love watching you grow, both onward and upward. The way you have become your own little person with a big personality and even bigger belly laughs. The way you babble at the ceiling lights and think it’s the greatest thing in the world when we copy you. 
This first year of parenting has been full of ups and downs, but the journey has been so worth it. I still have my days where I’m not sure I do enough for you as a mother, but then you come crawling towards me at mach speeds and crash into my shins and sign to be picked up and nuzzle into my chest, and I know I’m doing something right. 
You may not be able to say “I love you” back, yet, but actions speak louder than words, and more days than not, your words echo. 

19 thoughts on “LilleBaby Love Letters // Love

  1. This is so sweet! He is such a cutie 🙂 I haven't had children yet, but I hope that I can be filled with just as much joy and happiness as you have expressed here.


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