I have known today was coming for a while now, and while I have been trying to mentally prepare myself, it doesn’t make it any easier. Today was my official last day of work as a nanny to the D family and mister J.
I was pretty emotional about it this past weekend and last night, but I thought I would be able to hold myself together as I was driving to work this morning. Boy, was I wrong. Knocking on the door, I already was misty-eyed. Then, when I came inside and opened the card and the gift the family had made for me, I totally lost it. The dad designed the print, the mom wrote the beautiful note, and they had it framed – I could not love it more.
You were my PARENT when my mommy and daddy could not be with me.
You were my TEACHER by reading me stories and showing me life lessons.
You were my BEST FRIEND day after day by playing with me and making me laugh.
Your positive influence on the first year of my life will never be forgotten.
Thank you for being the best nanny ever!
I will miss you.
How did I get so lucky?! I am so glad I decided to stop working retail and applied for the nanny position with the D family. They have been amazing since day one, they always ask how I’m doing and how I’m feeling, they didn’t freak out when I told them I was pregnant, and they were totally understanding and supportive when I told them about Z’s job offer and that we would be moving.
I have so many great memories with J and the fact that I’ve been able to watch him grow so much in the past year has been such an honor. I remember how tiny he was at first, and when giving him baths, the second he heard the bath water turn on, his face became one huge smile and he would start to squeak and wiggle and couldn’t wait to get in the water. I remember when he would fall asleep on my chest as I was rocking him. I remember taking him out for walks and hearing him ‘talk’ to the trees and his surroundings, and then go silent, and when I would peek at him, he was out cold. I remember when he started rolling from his front to his back, and how sometimes he would only make it halfway and when he was learning to crawl and would do this funny little downward dog pose, and now he’s rolling over, crawling, and standing like a pro. I remember the first time I was feeding him and he wrapped his tiny little hand around my finger and my heart melted right then and there. I remember how his cute toothless grin became even more adorable when he got his first teeth. I remember when he would sit on his knees and reach his arms up, opening and closing his hands with his puppy dog eyes, asking to be picked up, and after picking him up, how he would wrap his arms around me and hold on tight. I remember how he was mesmerized by the grass in his backyard and he would sit and run his hands through it, pull some up and turn it over in his hands to inspect every angle. I remember the time he kissed and then laid his head on my 27 week belly, and I thought I was going to cry because it was so sweet. I remember how when he sits on my lap to read his favorite book (The Hair Book), he leans back into me and grabs one of my arms with his hand, and how he could sit there and have me read that book to him over and over again and he never seems to get tired of it. I remember taking him to Kindermusik and smiling at how he would bang on the drums, move to the music, and play with the scarves. I remember how you started to clap when I turned on music and when you really liked your food. And I will remember how he could make your day instantly better with one of his smiles.
He has always been adorable, but his personality has really come out more and more lately, and he is the most charming little dude – when he smiles (which he does constantly), he has the most precious dimples, and he is always cracking himself up. I love getting to watch mom & dad interact with baby J – seeing how their faces light up, the love they have for each other is so apparent, and even on mornings where there has been a long and sleepless night, you can just tell that they wouldn’t trade it for anything. They are such great parents and I can’t wait to see Zach zoom baby H around the room and hear him giggle and get big smiles and a hug when I come through the door like mister J does with his mom and dad. As many fears as I have about being a first time parent, watching the D family together this past year puts so much of that aside and makes me far more excited than fearful.
The daycare he’s moving to is so lucky to have such a bubbly little man. He gives the best cuddles and giggles and plays peek-a-bo like it’s his job. I love that little dude, and it’s going to be really hard to not wake up and head over to his house to play fire trucks, read Dr. Seuss books and play in the leaves, and I hope that in the future I am able to see him and hear about him from his mom and dad.
My dad knew today was going to be hard on me, so he wrote me the sweetest email:
I just wanted to touch base with you today as you transition from one point in the universe to another. I know that today could be a difficult one for you, but I wanted to offer another version of where you might be.
When you get emotional, make sure it is for the right reason. Do not feel sad today, quite the opposite. I would argue that you have been one of the primary reasons that baby James is such a great well rounded kid. You showed him love, attention and worked to make his life great. I think everyone would agree that you succeeded. So, if you tear up today, make sure you have warm fuzzies on the inside, and remember that in 30 years when James is a man, married and is looking for a nanny, he may not remember your name, but he will definitely remember your warmth and caring.
Your very proud papa
Cant wait for saturday
I do feel really sad today, but I think that’s ok. I held it together pretty well through the goodbyes, even when mister J reached out for snuggles and hugs, but as soon as I walked to my car, I couldn’t help myself, and I started crying again. I know J and his family are going to be fine when I leave, but I also know I’m going to miss the three of them – a lot. I hope that my dad is right, that I played some part in his happiness and that I was able to make him feel cared for, and give him all the attention and love he needed. And even though I know this move is the best thing for my little family, I’m going to let myself be sad, because I’m leaving an awesome little dude and family who have been a big part of my life.